Forgive yourself!

If we confess our sins he is faithful and just to forgive us of our sins. 1 John 1:9

 

At the age of 14 I gave my life over to Christ, oh what an amazing experience for me. At 16 I thought i met the love of my life, he was perfect a dream come true. Our relationship blossomed, i invited him to church he came out. He treated me like his queen, the love of his love and well his everything. 

Then a few months later I got pregnant, whew! My mother was going to kill me when she finds out, but I didn’t care he loves me and he would take care of me and our child. Hmph, a few days after finding out about the pregnancy the morning sickness came. It was as if I had contracted a deadly disease, because he called and came around less. When my mother found out, I was told that I would not have the child and that I would have an abortion. 

Of course she told him how she felt and he agreed, within the next few days I was taken to a doctors office to have the procedure done. Being a Christian for two years I knew that what was going to happen was murder, but I couldn’t dispute that with my then boyfriend and mother. I was overpowered and really sick, I just wanted everything to end. 

Laying on that cold bed, legs propped up was the most embarrassing moment of my life ever. After the procedure was done, I couldn’t sleep for weeks, I bleed longer than I should have. Three weeks after the procedure, I passed out after coming from the bathroom and was taken to the hospital via ambulance. After completing an Ultrasound I was told that If I had spent another day at home I would have died as the fetus was still in my wombs.

Well a DNC was done to fully remove the fetus and a day later I was sent home to deal with the sleepless nights, and always hearing a baby crying. From then to now I’ve asked God to forgive me. I wonder what can I ever do to seek his forgiveness. 

It’s been ten years and four kids later since that abortion, and I still held on the pain, shame, and scars. Thinking God will never forgive me, he will never be able to use me. I’m a murderer, a filthy sinner who knew his word and still did evil.

I’ve heard all about Moses who murdered the Egyptian or David a man after God’s own heart who committed adultery and murdered. Those men are ancient history, give me someone from here and whom has experienced forgiveness now.

And he did, women after women was presented to me, to show me God’s love and his forgiveness.

So yes my friend your out there and you think that God won’t forgive you. That’s the plan of the enemy. He wants to keep you down and out. But I am here to tell you, that God will deliver you, He has already forgiven you, All you have to do is confess your sin to him.

Now, that you’ve done that it will take you sometime before you feel that your forgiven. Tune in next time to find out how you can rid yourself of that unforgiven feeling.

 

Be blessed and know that he is God.